


In the arms of an angel

by dreigiau



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29113467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreigiau/pseuds/dreigiau
Summary: Spoilers for 2x123They've escaped by the skin of their teeth and all the Nein can do is pray and hope that Caleb's dome will bring them the safety that they need to rest and recuperate. Yasha takes first watch, but an exhausted and beaten Beau won't allow her to be alone.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 19
Kudos: 280





	1. Chapter 1

“M’fine”

“You’re not” Yasha argued with a frustrated sigh, “Just let me carry you”

“I’m okay” Beau insisted from where she leant into the barbarian’s side as the two slowly followed behind the rest of their group in the biting cold weather. 

Their progress had been considerably faster until the polymorph spells had worn off, Jester returning to herself five minutes before Caleb quickly suggested everyone climb down from the mammoth. And as Beau had reverted back to her own form Yasha had been there to catch her, the taller and stronger woman helping her injured friend through the snow ever since. 

“You are being difficult” Yasha huffed, her arm tightening around Beau’s waist. “This is making us slower” 

“Don’t wanna be a burden” the monk grumbled so quietly that Yasha almost missed it.

“You’re not” she insisted, digging her boots into the snow and refusing to move any further, bringing Beau to a halt with her. “And even if you were then I would happily let you be my burden to bear”

There was a pause and then a frustrated noise from the smaller woman. 

“What’s wrong?” The Aasimar frowned, eyes searching Beau’s for signs of pain. 

“Nothing. Just annoyed that my head hurts so fucking much that I can’t tell whether or not you meant for that to sound super hot” 

Yasha rolled her eyes and chuckled before effortlessly scooping the monk up into her arms, deciding that she was no longer taking no for an answer.

“I think that maybe I hoped it seemed sweet…” she explained gently, unable to stop the smile that crossed her face as Beau’s arms slid around her neck as if this were the most natural thing in the world.

(And perhaps it was)

“Hm” Beau smiled. “S’hot too” she muttered as Yasha began to walk once more, trekking through the snow to catch up with the rest of the group who had paused to wait for them,

Beau had definitely expected some kind of teasing from at least Veth as they caught up with the rest of the Nein but there was nothing, just soft smiles of relief from the others, glad to see that Beau was going to be alright. 

“My Guardian Angel” she muttered anyway, once the others were in earshot, sending a wink in Jester’s amused direction.

She felt the soft rumble of Yasha’s chuckle and couldn’t help but smile as warmth flooded her chest. With a soft sigh Beau lay her head against Yasha’s shoulder and let her eyes fall shut. 

She was finally safe.

—

When Beau next stirred awake she was cocooned in warmth. She squeezed her eyes shut, desperate to go back to sleep until a light jostling and the hardness of a body pressed against hers was too tempting to ignore. 

Blue eyes opened sleepily, blinking a few times as the soft glow of the familiar dome came into view. 

“Hey…” she whispered croakily as she shifted her gaze to the beautiful woman hovering above her. 

She had _definitely_ had this dream before. 

Yasha smiled in response, reaching down and pulling a thick blanket over the monk’s body.

“We’re going to have to take watches…” Jester’s voice broke Beau out of her trance and she watched as Yasha sat back on her heels, turning her attention to the rest of the group. 

“I’ll take first watch” the softness of the Aasimar’s voice was enough to cause Beau’s heart to hiccup. 

_Fuck. I’ve got it bad._

She squeezed her eyes shut once more, feeling her face flush and trying to ignore what the shifting of boots and sudden warmth of a body beside her might mean. 

Keeping her eyes closed, Beau allowed herself to enjoy the warmth of both the dome and the blanket after so long outside in the freezing cold, and listened as her friends exhaustedly said goodnight to one another. 

When the only real sound in the dome became that of soft snores she dared to open her eyes once more.

Just as she’d expected Yasha was sat sentinel beside her, it warmed her heart and she couldn’t help but shift ever so slightly onto her side to get a better look.

“Hi…” she whispered, watching as her words broke the barbarian from her thoughts, and blue and purple eyes drifted down to look at her. 

“Hello…” Yasha whispered just as gently and for a moment Beau was reminded of a very different ‘hello’ on a very different night and it brought a sleepy smile to the monk’s face.

“How long was I asleep?” She asked, attempting to stretch her arms and instantly regretting it. 

“Little over an hour” 

Beau’s eyebrows rose a little. “You carried me for over an hour?”

In the dim light of the globules Beau was sure she saw a faint blush to Yasha’s pale skin. 

“It was no problem”

“Right, yeah” Beau nodded. “You’re really fucking strong, right?” She chuckled gently, thinking back to that first day she had met this woman. There had been no way she had known back then just how important the mysterious barbarian would become to her. 

(Just how important any of them would have become)

Yasha smiled softly and offered a half shrug and a “Well…” which made Beau grin. 

The monk shifted ever so slightly closer. “Thanks” she mumbled softly, “For like - _everything_ you did for me today” she swallowed hard, biting back her nerves.

“You’d have done the same for me…”

Beau shrugged and nodded. Yeah, she would have tried.

“You want company?” She asked after a few short moments, making a move to sit, gritting her teeth at the pain. 

“Beau. You need to sleep” A worried expression immediately overtook Yasha’s face and she reached out to stop the monk from getting up. 

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead” 

“Don’t joke about that” the sincerity in Yasha’s tone ripped through Beau like a knife and her throat ran dry as she stared up at the other woman, fear reflected in those mismatched eyes. 

“I don’t like you being alone,” Beau admitted after a few moments. “Not after everything that happened today. I know how much it meant to you...hoping that Molly might still be in there…”

Even in the dim light Beau could see the way Yasha dragged her teeth over her bottom lip as she hesitated in responding. 

“I’m just glad that you’re safe” 

The monk sighed softly and decided to change tactics.

“M’cold” she muttered before shifting her body slowly closer to the barbarian once again. She could see the way that Yasha hesitated and thought about protesting but then a softness fell over her face and she adjusted how she was sitting on the ground.

“Come here” she whispered and then strong arms were reaching out, surprisingly gentle, as she helped Beau into a sitting position, tugging her close so that the monk could sit between her legs and lay back against her torso, blanket across both of their laps. 

It felt like coming home and Beau immediately melted into it as one of Yasha’s strong arms slid around her waist, holding her close. 

The monk took a few moments to try and calm her beating heart, barely able to believe she had gone from the cusp of death (twice) to finally being in Yasha’s arms.

“Hey, you looked super hot with your wings out today...” she teased, voice a little rough from sleep. Beau tilted her head back to look up at Yasha, smiling to herself as the other woman ducked her head embarrassedly. “Kinda jealous it was Caleb in your arms not me…” she added with a shrug.

“Well in any other situation you know it would be you…”

“Hm, I hope so” 

When had the flirting gotten less awkward between them, Beau wondered. 

“I uh, I actually almost used them to go after you and the dragon earlier…” Yasha explained.

“Yeah?”

Yasha nodded. 

“That would’ve been hot. But probably best that you didn’t, I guess…” Beau mused and Yasha nodded once more. “Was super hot watching you throw things at her though…”

“Even though I almost hit you. Again?” Yasha’s eyebrows rose and Beau chuckled before shrugging gently and leaning further into Yasha’s embrace. 

“Impaled by a hot barbarian doesn’t sound so bad…” she smirked up at her. 

Yasha chuckled softly at that and rolled her eyes. “Just how much psychic damage did you take?” She teased.

Beau smiled softly, tired eyes searching the other woman’s face.

“Not as much as I would have taken if an angel hadn’t saved me” she wiggled her eyebrows, or at least tried to but she was exhausted and was sure it hadn’t looked anywhere as cool as she’d intended.

“I think actually it was an owl,” Yasha replied in her deadpan tone, though she was unable to stop herself from remembering the fear that had coursed through her veins in those moments. 

Fear had made her run when the first woman she had ever loved was executed.

Today, fear and desperation had catapulted her forwards. She couldn’t let it happen again.

“Angel owl” Beau argued and let her eyes fall closed once again. Yasha was really fucking comfy.

Yasha smiled sadly, lifting a hand to gently brush her thumb over the tracks of blood staining Beau’s face from Lucien’s attack. 

“Feels nice” the monk muttered, letting out a content sigh. 

“Your face is a mess…” she whispered.

Beau’s eyes shot open, an eyebrow arching up as she looked back up at Yasha. “Wow, thanks. Pretty sure you called me hot earlier but y’know, whatever…” she rolled her eyes jokingly. 

Yasha laughed and the smile on her face warmed Beau’s heart. 

“I mean you’re covered in blood” she explained. 

“Oh. Right. Yeah” Beau nodded and sighed softly, eyes falling shut once again. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much pain in my life” she admitted, thinking back to the pain Lucien had put her through.

Yasha frowned, her arm tightening around Beau’s waist. 

“I felt like my head was going to explode,” the monk explained. “And I wanted it to. Anything that would make the pain stop. Fuck, I didn’t care for Vess but - what a shitty way to go” 

Yasha fell silent for a moment, her thumb stilling on Beau’s jaw. “I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost you today” she admitted weakly. 

Beau let out a shaky sigh. Even she could acknowledge that the Nein cared about her, and whilst she used to throw herself at danger with little care in the world she had to admit that now, in those near death moments, she felt fear. Fear for her family, and fear for the future she was about to lose - the future she desperately wanted to build with this woman. 

“Hey, I’ll be alright” Beau insisted, trying to lighten the mood. “I mean, you guys were willing to fight an ancient white dragon...for me…” she smiled and tilted her head again to look at Yasha. 

She immediately wished she hadn’t because - 

“I would fight a hundred dragons for _you_ , Beau”

The monk’s breath caught in her throat and she swallowed hard, wide eyes fixed on the stunning purple and blue of the Aasimar’s eyes. The sincerity of Yasha’s tone was what had got her, and it took a moment to scramble together a response. 

“Crazy fucking barbarian” she managed to croak out as she shifted her head so she was no longer looking at Yasha.

“Crazy-for-you barbarian” 

“Oh”

“Yeah”

Beau swallowed hard, she could hear her heart pounding loudly in her chest. 

“I’ll kill him if he makes me go one more night without our date” she whispered into the quiet of the dome, glad her eyes were no longer on the other woman’s. 

“Not if I do first” Yasha whispered softly. 

“Can’t wait to ravage me, huh?” Beau teased, shifting slightly in Yasha’s arms and deciding to be brave. She hesitated only a moment longer before lifting her right arm, wrapping her fingers around Yasha’s forearm that lay across her stomach, holding it there. 

“Something like that” 

“You’re not uh- you wanted to get Molly back…” she couldn’t help herself from asking, even if it lost the lightness of the mood. 

“I did,” Yasha agreed simply. “ _That_ is not Molly” 

“Yeah…” Beau swallowed thickly and bit her lip, thinking of the look in those eyes as he had lifted her by her throat. If she didn’t have more Somnovum nightmares then she would surely have nightmares of _his_ eyes. 

“Lucien has to die” Yasha broke the silence with such finality it scared Beau for a second. “I won’t let him hurt you ever again”

The enormity of Yasha being willing to lose a chance at getting Molly back if it meant saving Beau hit the monk hard and she sat in silence for what felt like forever, simply staring out of the dome and letting Yasha’s arm around her waist anchor her. Molly meant the world to Yasha, and Beau couldn’t even begin to comprehend a world where she would ever mean that much to someone. (Even if deep down she already knew it was true, all of the Nein meant the world to one another)

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and let out a shaky breath, willing herself to just be completely honest in this moment. 

“You should probably know that asking you on a date was never about a chance to see if it would work, if I really wanted to be with you” she found herself explaining, her fingers playing with the worn fabric of Yasha’s glove as a distraction. “It’s...I want to do things right with you because you’re the only person I’ve ever felt this way about” she admitted nervously, “...and I’m terrified of messing things up. It’s...I dunno, the date is just a formality I guess?” 

She needed Yasha to know that there was no doubt in her mind. Beau wanted to be with her, she wanted everything that Yasha could offer, and she wanted to give more in return. She was finally ready to open her heart, and there was no doubt in her mind that Yasha was the one she wanted to take that journey with. 

“It would be nice to do things the right way” Yasha agreed. “But I also don’t want to make the mistake of thinking we have more time than we do…”

They both fell silent for a few moments, each scared they had said too much, pushed too far. Eventually it was Beau that decided to try to be brave once again, her hand tightening on Yasha’s arm. 

“I was uhm, I was thinking the other day about how uh, how we’ve actually fought each other like four times or something stupid…”

She felt Yasha nod behind her, “I know”

“It’s a really weird realisation to have” she laughed nervously. “That the most physical contact you’ve had with the woman you’re super into has come from beating the shit out of one another…”

“What happened to ‘the pain kinda turns me on’?” Beau didn’t even need to turn her head to know that Yasha had an eyebrow quirked, and the slightest of smirks tugging at the corner of her lips. 

“I mean…” Beau shrugged and smiled. “It does” she tilted her head once more and flashed a grin at Yasha. “But I think it’d probably be pretty dope to just hug the girl you like or something, you know?”

“Yeah, Beau” Yasha nodded. “ _I_ know” she promised as she wrapped her other arm carefully around the monk’s torso, holding her close. 

“This is nice” the human shifted slightly, tucking herself further into Yasha’s hold. 

“Would be nice if you weren’t covered in blood…” 

“Pretty sure some of it is dragon blood” Beau shrugged, eyes squeezed shut once again. 

“That doesn’t make it any better” Yasha rolled her eyes even as she smiled affectionately at the woman in her arms. 

Beau just chuckled, tucking her head against Yasha’s collarbone and focusing on the strong and steady beat of the Aasimar’s heart. “Wish I’d thought of ‘Angel Blood’ before he started calling you it” she found herself muttering, a smile tugging at her lips as she felt the rumble of Yasha’s chest as the other woman chuckled. 

“Speaking of angel blood…” she lifted a hand from Beau’s waist, fingers gently brushing through stray strands of the monk’s hair before she gently cupped the side of her face and cast healing hands. 

The warmth flooded through Beau’s entire body and her breath caught in her throat the same way it did everytime this amazing woman for some reason decided to use her Celestial gift on her. She was sure she didn’t deserve it, this power was meant for something, or someone, _more_.

“Mm, you should definitely touch me more often” she found herself smiling despite herself, as some of the pain in her head began to relent. 

“I just wish I could offer more,” Yasha admitted, hating that the only healing she could offer Beau was barely anything in comparison to the damage she had taken. 

The smaller woman shook her head against Yasha’s chest. “It’s more than I deserve” she insisted, “And so are you” 

“You should give yourself credit. You were amazing today” Beau’s brow furrowed and she grumbled in disagreement. “I’m serious, Beau. You probably saved Caleb and Caduceus’ lives by throwing yourself between them and _him_ ”

“Just doing my job” she muttered softly. 

Yasha watched her quietly for a moment, thumb tracing the sharp line of the monk’s jaw. “For what it’s worth, you looked really fucking cool on that dragon…” she found herself admitting in a tone that she hoped would lighten the mood. 

“Yeah?”

Yasha bit her lip and nodded, the backs of fingers trailing lightly over the purple bruising on Beau’s neck, left by Lucien’s grip. “Really uh...super hot” she whispered softly. 

Beau chuckled sleepily and tucked herself further into Yasha’s embrace.

“You always look super hot” she muttered in response. “It’s really fucking distracting...and kinda unfair…” 

Yasha smiled, wrapping her spare arm around Beau once more. “Get some sleep, Beau. You’re less attractive when you’re tired and cranky”

“Pfft whatever” she huffed but let herself relax, eyes falling shut once more.

And only moments later she was asleep, warm and safe in the arms of an angel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd intended to finish this before the latest episode, but I suppose it still counts if I've yet to watch the new one, right?

As Beauregard began to come to consciousness she was hit, to her surprise, not by the biting cold of Eiselcross, but the comfortable warmth of a body beneath her. She let out a yawn with the intention of trying to get a little more sleep, snuggling a little further into - 

Her eyes shot open. The warmth of a body. A body beneath her. 

Yasha. 

Beau swallowed nervously and turned her head just enough to discover that the Aasimar must have carefully adjusted them when her watch had finished last night. She was now laying half sprawled across the other woman’s torso, one of Yasha’s strong arms wrapped loosely around her waist. 

The monk bit her lip and held her breath, somehow scared that if Yasha woke then this would end. She would realise her mistake and let go of Beau, would put distance between them. Because even though Yasha had said yes to the date, and the things she had said last night -

_“I would fight a hundred dragons for you, Beau”_

Beau knew she had to stop doubting herself, and the kindness of the people around her. It was just that she had spent so much of her life not feeling like anyone cared what happened to her, it was sort of overwhelming to suddenly be surrounded by people who would fight fucking dragons to protect her. 

As she was staring up at the snow covered roof of the dome, thinking about just how nice it felt to know people cared, Beau felt a shift beneath her as Yasha stirred awake. 

The monk froze for a moment, wondering if she ought to move and stop using the barbarian as her pillow, but before she could make a decision she felt the arm around her waist tighten slightly. 

“Hi…” she found herself whispering. 

“Morning” Yasha’s voice was thick with sleep and as she splayed her large hand out across the expanse of Beau’s uncovered abs the monk felt a warmth rush through her and for a moment she let herself imagine how good it would feel to wake up like this every morning. 

“Sorry, I should uh -” Beau made a move to sit up but Yasha’s hold on her tightened. 

“Stay?” she whispered and honestly how could Beau resist? 

“‘Kay…” she nodded and swallowed thickly. 

The two stayed like that for a little while, both silent and just enjoying this new dynamic between them. But it didn’t last, as the others began to rouse. 

Beau heard the soft mumbles of “Morning” from the others but she kept her eyes squeezed shut, her hand holding Yasha’s forearm in place over her stomach, determined to enjoy this for a little longer. 

“Morning Yasha” she heard Veth’s voice as the Halfling sat up. “Morning…” Veth paused and Beau held her breath waiting for the inevitable. “You two as well?!” her shrill voice was not what you wanted to wake to and even though Beau pretended to play dumb she knew that her friend was not going to relent. 

“What?” she croaked as she opened one eye and peered up to find Veth glaring down at her with her hands on her hips. 

“This” the rogue gestured to the two women pressed together. 

“No idea what you’re talking about, man” Beau lied, her fingers unconsciously tightening around Yasha’s wrist, a warmth rushing through her as the barbarian’s response was to tighten her hold too, beneath the warmth of their blankets. 

Veth rolled her eyes and reached down to rip the blanket off of Beau’s torso and reveal the way they were holding one another. “This. I’m talking about this!” she screeched. 

Instinctively Beau began to release her hold on Yasha but the other woman surprised her by instead tangling their fingers together and refusing to release her grip. 

“And _you_ -” Veth pointed wildly at Yasha to which the Aasimar quirked her eyebrows. 

“Yes, Veth?” she asked in her impossibly calm and soft tone. 

“I thought you’d at least have better taste” she scoffed. 

Beau knew Veth, and she loved Veth. She knew when the other woman was doing something to intentionally wind her up, yet she still couldn’t stop herself from rising to the bait. “Oh fuck you, dude. I’m not _that_ undesirable” she argued, ignoring the laugh of Fjord from the other side of the dome. “And don’t you fucking start!” she called over at him, lifting her arm and pointing at him.

“It seems someone’s feeling better” the half-orc chuckled from where Jester was pressing a warm tea from Caduceus into his hands. 

“Of course she feels better, Fjord” Jester’s tone was indicative enough of the eye roll without Beau even having to look at her. “She spent the night snuggled up with Yasha. Love can fix anything, you know…”

“Love?” Beau stared dumbfoundedly at her friends before jolting upright, releasing Yasha’s hand as a warm blush spread across her face. “What the fuck, Jes. It’s not - we didn’t. It was really fucking cold, alright? Nothing happened”

She felt Yasha shift beside her and she instantly felt guilty, because in her embarrassment she had resorted to pushing Yasha away, denying what last night had meant to both her and to Yasha. 

“I think there are more important things to focus on right now” It was Caleb who interrupted this time. 

“No, Caleb” Veth folded her arms across her chest. “I think this is pretty important, don’t you Jessie?” 

Jester giggled from where she was now redoing Fjord’s man-bun. “Veth is right, you guys. This is really important, you know…”

Beau sighed and put her head in her hands. Her friends were exhausting. 

“Beauregard” 

She looked up at the sound of Caleb’s voice. 

“Did you -” he hesitated and she saw a flash of worry in his face. “Any more dreams?” he asked and then gestured to her hand, “Any more...eyes?”

“Oh shit” Beau sat up straighter and began ripping off her gloves and wraps to check her hands, then her arms. Asleep in the arms of an angel she had completely forgotten the worries of the previous morning. “Yash, would you…”

“Of course”

She felt the softness of Yasha’s fingers as she gently brushed Beau’s hair from the nape of her neck, gently trailing over the tattoo. “Nothing” she whispered, her fingers then carefully brushing Beau’s shoulder blades, the monk sat forward a little and lifted her top enough that Yasha would be able to see her back. “No, there’s - there isn’t anything”

Beau let out a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding. 

“What about you?” she quickly looked up at Caleb who shook his head. 

“Nein” he whispered. 

“You think it only happens if we read the book”

“Ja, possibly” he nodded. 

Beau let out a sigh and rubbed her eyes frustratedly. “Can’t believe I fucking forgot…” she whispered. 

“Well, to be fair, you were a little distracted in the arms of your _girlfriend_ ” Veth teased, a stupid smirk on her face as Beau lifted her head and glared at her.   
“Shut up, Veth”

“What? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, I’m just offended I seem to be the last to know”

“Last to know what?” Caduceus smiled affectionately as he placed a warm tea in Beau’s hands. 

“About Yasha and Beau” 

“Oh” Caduceus nodded and poured another tea, this time for Yasha. “Yeah. Yeah - I’ve known about that for a week or so...” he mused softly.

“A week?? You’ve been - for a week?” Veth rounded on Beau. 

Before Beau could respond she felt Yasha shift beside her as she stood up. “I’m just going to…” she mumbled and gestured behind them before beginning to walk away from the rest of the group, out of the dome.

“ _Veth_ , what the fuck, man?!” the monk glared at the Halfling and then at Yasha’s retreating form. “You’re making her uncomfortable”

“No, I think I’m making you uncomfortable Beauregard” she chuckled and sipped her tea before pulling out some jerky to eat. 

“Yeah, you think?” Beau sighed heavily and drank some of her own tea, trying her best not to let her eyes follow Yasha. 

“So...you gonna share the details or -”

“Fuck off, Veth” Beau exhaled heavily. “There isn’t any details”

“No? Come on, Beau, you never struck me as a prude…” 

She knew that Veth was baiting her but yet again she couldn’t help but bite. 

“I asked her on a date, alright?” she stared at Veth, silently pleading her to understand this wasn’t something she wanted to joke about. 

“ _And_?”

“She - she said yeah” she admitted a little breathlessly. 

“So what - you gonna go on a date in the snow? Build a snowman, make snow angels?” Veth was teasing, but it felt friendlier now. 

Beau shrugged and took a bite out of her own pocket bacon. 

“I dunno, man. But I - I nearly died like fucking twice yesterday” she reminded her friend. “I wanna do things the right way with Yasha, but I also don’t wanna wait, you know?”

“Yeah” Veth nodded. “Yeah, I can understand that,” she relented.

“So will you please, _please_ not tease us about it? At least until we’ve had the chance to properly talk about things?”

“Sure, sure” Veth shrugged and grabbed some of Beau’s bacon. “You know, Beau. You are one of my dearest friends…” 

Beau raised an eyebrow as she watched Veth, the rogue’s tone told her that this was very much not going to be the heartfelt comment she was setting it up to be. 

“...and you know, I would really love to give you something as a token of my happiness for your new relationship” she continued and Beau’s eyebrow rose higher as she waited. “But the thing is I gave the last of my sex potion to Jester and Fjord so -”

“You did what?!?” Fjord’s eyes were wide and a blush immediately covered his face as he looked between Veth and Jester (who was now just as red as Fjord). 

Beau laughed, truly laughed, so hard that a sudden pain in her ribs reminded her of how tapped of healing spells the clerics had been last night. But she didn’t care. 

They might be in more danger than they ever imagined, gearing up for the fight of their lives, but they had each other and that was something Lucien would never have. He would never have the love of this group of misfits, because he wasn’t Molly and now that they knew that for sure - well, the Mighty Nein were coming for him. 

“I’m gonna…” she groaned as she pushed herself to her feet and gestured in the direction of Yasha. “Just make sure she’s okay…”

Caduceus reached out and refilled both Beau’s and Yasha’s mugs before passing them to the monk who took them gratefully. 

“Beau, you can borrow this if you like…” Jester called out and when Beau turned she saw the tiefling holding out the small vial that she just _knew_ must contain the sex potion.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “You know what, Jes? You hold onto that, I think it’ll be more useful with Fjord” she teased, winking in the half-orc’s direction before taking off through the snow in the direction of the barbarian. 

Yasha hadn’t strayed too far from the group and as Beau neared her she had just begun to turn and make her way back. 

“Hey…”

Yasha smiled and Beau’s heart did a somersault. “Hey. You alright?” she asked nervously as she offered out the mug of tea. 

“Yeah, I’m good” Yasha nodded as she took the tea gratefully. “Are you?”

“No, yeah I’m - I’m fine” Beau nodded a little too enthusiastically. “Listen I’m -” she sighed and gestured back towards the rest of the group. “Sorry about all that…them…”

“Oh it’s fine” Yasha immediately insisted. “I wasn’t trying to hide that we fell asleep...schnuggling…” the barbarian flashed the smallest of smiles and Beau couldn’t resist returning it. Nor could she deny how adorable Yasha sounded. 

“Oh. Right. Yeah, okay. That’s uh - that’s good” Beau nodded and clutched her tea tightly in her hands, hoping it would warm them as they slowly headed back towards the others. “So you weren’t - you didn’t walk away because…”

“Oh” Yasha’s eyebrows shot up. “No, no, no no” she shook her head. “No, I just wanted to see if there were any signs we were followed” she explained. 

“Right, yeah. Good idea” Beau nodded and glanced up at Yasha. “Were there?”

“Nothing I could see…”

Beau nodded once more, “Do you think they will follow?”

“Probably”

“Me too” Beau sighed, “Hey let’s not fight a fucking dragon before the Tombtakers next time?” she smiled up at Yasha.

The Aasimar chuckled softly and nodded. “No more dragons” she agreed.

Beau bit her lip for a moment before coming to a stop in the snow, one hand reaching out to gently touch Yasha’s arm and stop her too. 

The barbarian turned and looked at the smaller woman with a slightly confused expression.

“Hey uh - I just, I wanted to say I’m sorry if I acted like a jerk though…”

“What do you mean?”

“Veth just caught me by surprise, and I feel like I acted like the possibility of there being something between us was something to be ashamed or embarrassed of…” She couldn’t stop thinking about how she had jerked out of Yasha’s hold. 

“Oh…” Yasha swallowed thickly, clearly unsure of how to respond. 

“It’s not - it’s...I wanna be with you. I just - it’s not something that I’m used to, and like I said she caught me off guard and…”

“Beau…”

The monk shook her head and carried on. 

“I mean, it was super sweet when Fjord kissed Jester in front of everyone yesterday, and like told everyone how he felt about her but -” she shrugged and looked up at Yasha. “I’d just rather...figure things out between us before announcing how I feel to the whole group, you know?”

“Yes, of course” Why was Yasha always so understanding? “I think I would like that too”

“Yeah?”

Yasha nodded. “It’s not as if I’m a stranger to hiding a relationship…”

Beau bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut. “It was fucking bullshit that you and Zuala had to hide from the world” she whispered, steeling herself before reaching out and gently squeezing the Aasimar’s forearm. “I don’t - I would never expect that from you. If this - if we...I wouldn’t ever want to hide if I were yours…” she explained. 

Yasha held her gaze for a moment and Beau felt like she was going to explode with anticipation waiting for the other woman to respond, but when she did it was with a smile. “Let’s just - let’s figure things out in our own time and then our family will be the first to know”

“Yeah” Beau smiled brightly and nodded. “Yeah that - that sounds good”

“Okay good” Yasha smiled and glanced towards the others. “And you’re feeling up to traveling today?” she asked, eyes looking over Beau as if expecting to find more injuries. 

“I’ll be okay, yeah” she nodded. 

“Promise?”

“Promise to stay alive” she whispered softly. 

Yasha exhaled softly, “Me too”

Beau nodded once more. “Okay good” she turned back to the group ready to continue walking towards them but then paused for a moment before deciding to be brave. “Hey Yash…”

“Yes, Beau?”

“Thank you, for yesterday. And well, I guess every single day” she shrugged and then lifted herself up onto her tiptoes to press the lightest of kisses to the barbarian’s cheek. As she lowered back to her normal height she watched the way the pale skin turned pink and couldn’t help but duck her head, biting her lip. “We should -” she gestured with her thumb back towards the others. 

“Yeah” Yasha nodded and strode forwards to join the rest of the Nein for breakfast and to plan their day. 

\---

After a breakfast made up of literal scraps and as much hot tea as Caduceus could get down everyone’s throats, the Nein collectively came to the conclusion that there was nothing left for them but to go to Essek. 

_Hey, everything’s a mess. Did Dagen arrive yet? Did you read the note? Oh man, we could really use your help. On our way to-_

And so they wrapped up warm and continued their trek through the unrelenting snow. 

Caduceus had laid a hand on Beau, given her a quick cure wounds to try and give her more energy for the day. She had tried to say no, hadn’t wanted to use any of the group’s resources, but Yasha had nodded to Caduceus and thanked him.

By late afternoon they could see the heavily guarded gates of the Vurmos Outpost and Beau had never been so glad to see signs of the Kryn Dynasty in her life. 

Weapons were immediately drawn by guards, but Fjord was quick to flash the symbol of the Bright Queen and the others soon followed suit. Beau made a mental note to once again thank Caleb for his quick thinking all those months ago which had led to the Nein coming into possession of the symbols in the first place. 

Through the gates Essek was waiting, as if he had sensed their imminent arrival. And by his side, Dagen.

In her relief Beau stumbled slightly but Yasha was there to catch her, and if she clung to the Aasimar’s arm for a moment longer than needed - well, what of it?

Jester rushed forward with a cry of “Essek!”, and wrapped the Drow in one of her signature rib-cracking hugs. It took a moment, surrounded by his peers, for Essek to relax but then he smiled and returned the tiefling’s embrace. 

“Jester” he whispered in his soft voice. “It is so good to see you -“ he released his hold on her and looked at the others. “It is so good to see all of you” Beau noticed the way his eyes lingered on Caleb, but now wasn’t the time to make a comment on that. “I have been most worried,” he admitted. “Even more so when Mr Underthorn arrived h-“

“Oh Dagen!” Jester released Essek and practically threw herself at their grizzled guide. “I _knew_ you loved us” she grinned as she hugged him tightly. And despite the circumstances it brought a small smile to Beau’s lips as she saw the way the man awkwardly patted Jester’s back in response. 

“No offence, but you lot are into some pretty weird shit” he grunted as Jester released him. 

“I _know_ , right?” Jester let out an exasperated sigh. “Things are really...really crazy” 

Essek’s eyes roamed over the group, lingering on Beau for a moment too long. She bit back a comment, knowing they had to be grateful for the Drow’s help right now. 

“I am sure you are all exhausted” Essek looked between them all. “Come, I have had quarters provided for you, dinner will be in but an hour and then we can talk?”

Caleb stepped forwards this time, his hand reaching out and lingering on the other man’s. “That would be good,” he nodded. “Thank you, mein freund”

Essek smiled in return and if Beau hadn’t been so exhausted she might have said there’d been a bit of a blush across the Drow’s features. 

“Come then” he smiled and began to walk - or rather, float, further into the encampment.

The outpost was strange. It seemed that the majority of it was based around a large and grand ship, not too dissimilar from the Icebreaker. Essek explained that his quarters were on the ship, but with it being docked it tended to be more comfortable for most to set up on the land. 

He led them to a group of tents, Dagen in tow. 

“You will be quite comfortable here, I think,” Essek explained as he turned back to the group. 

“Not quite as fancy as your tower, but hell of a lot warmer than being out in the snow” Dagen nodded before excusing himself into one of the tents. 

“I will leave you to get settled, but if you need anything you can ask any of the guards” Essek explained, gesturing to the Kryn soldiers dotted around the encampment. “And I will come and get you when it is time for dinner?”

“Thank you, Essek, it is - we really appreciate it” Caduceus stepped forwards with a friendly smile.

The Drow nodded, looked over them once more and then disappeared towards the ship. 

“How many do you think can fit in a tent?” Veth asked as she stepped closer. 

“Four tents, nein of us. Two to a tent, one by themself?” Caleb suggested. “For now at least, tonight we should be together”

Fjord nodded, took Jester by the hand and started towards one of the tents. Veth raised an eyebrow and Beau watched as the Halfling thought better of making a lewd comment and instead watch them disappear behind the tarp. 

“I’ll be with Caleb” she announced and started towards the next tent, the wizard in tow, leaving Beau, Yasha and Caduceus outside. 

“I imagine the two of you would prefer some privacy” the Firbolg chuckled lightly, “And besides I tend to take up quite a bit of room so…”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks, man” Beau muttered in response, not really taking in much of Caduceus’ words, instead more focused on the thought of being alone with Yasha. 

“Beau?”

“Huh?” she looked up and saw Yasha smiling cautiously at her. “Let’s get you cleaned up…” she suggested. 

Beau frowned and glanced down at herself to be reminded that yeah she was still pretty messed up even if she felt up to another fight by this point. The monk nodded and headed for the last tent, muttering a quick ‘thanks’ as Yasha lifted the tarp for her to duck under and into the warmth of the - wait, warmth?

The tent was not what she had been expecting. Bigger on the inside (something her non-magic user brain could not quite process), the tent’s interior was not too dissimilar to the quarters in Caleb’s tower - but with Dynasty design rather than Zemnian. 

There was a small couch in front of a roaring fireplace, a moderately comfortable looking bed and a bathtub. 

“Holy shit this is - this is definitely better than the dome…” Beau mused, glancing over at Yasha with a small smile. 

The Aasimar nodded. “It’s not the tower, but this is a very comfortable alternative” she agreed as she stepped past Beau and began unfastening her cloak, allowing it to fall to the ground in front of the fireplace. “Beau, take off your jacket, we can dry them by the fireplace…”

“What - oh, right, yeah” she nodded and let out a shaky breath, slowly stepping closer to the fire. 

“Are you okay?”

“No, yeah, I’m good. I’m good” she insisted, cold hands beginning to fumble with the fastenings of her cloak and jacket. 

“Here, it’s okay, I’ve got it…” Yasha was incredibly close, Beau noticed, and then suddenly she was even closer. Long fingers reached out and began unfastening the clasp of the monk’s cloak with ease. 

Beau swallowed nervously, letting her own hands drop to her sides as she watched the way that Yasha deftly removed the cloak, letting it fall to the ground with her own, and then focused her attention on the fastenings of Beau’s jacket. 

She could probably count on her hands how many times she had been this close to Yasha, and for a moment she allowed her mind to drift back to those first few moments of consciousness this morning when she had woken up in the barbarian’s embrace. Her heart skipped and she bravely lifted her gaze, only to find Yasha’s eyes already waiting. The Aasimar offered the tiniest of smiles, which Beau couldn’t help but return, and the monk’s heart skipped yet again. 

“Is this okay?” Yasha whispered, likely noticing how reserved Beauregard was being. 

“Yeah” she whispered a little croakily before nodding and clearing her throat a little bit. “Yeah, of course”

“Okay” Yasha smiled gently once more and continued her way through the buttons. 

To say that she had been trying for so long to get some time alone with Yasha, Beau was not at all prepared for it; now it was here within her grasp. 

“You make me really nervous…”

Fuck, had she really said that out loud? 

Yasha’s hands stilled, heterochromatic eyes lifting to meet Beau’s. 

“You make me...really, really nervous” she replied with a soft chuckle. 

Yasha’s response eased some of the worry in Beau’s chest and she laughed gently. “That’s uh, that’s not a _bad_ thing though, right?” she asked hopefully. 

“No” Yasha shook her head, finished unfastening the last button of Beau’s jacket and slid her hands gently up the other woman’s arms. “I think that maybe it just means that this means a lot to the both of us…” she suggested as she carefully slid the bloodstained, damp jacket from Beauregard’s shoulders. 

“Yeah” Beau agreed breathlessly. “I hope so”

Yasha smiled gently, her hands lingering on Beau’s arms for a moment. “You’re covered in blood” 

Beau glanced down at herself and nodded. “Yeah, yeah I am”

“You should -” Yasha gestured her head in the direction of the bathtub. 

“Clean up?”

“Yeah”

Beau sighed softly and nodded. “Sure” 

Reluctantly Yasha released her hold on her and took a step back, allowing Beau to make her way across the room (tent?) to the bathtub, which like in Caleb’s tower, was already filled to the brim with hot water. 

Beau heard a shuffling of boots behind her and turned to see Yasha sitting on the couch, her back to Beau. The monk bit her lip, one hand gripping the edge of the bathtub as she hesitated a moment. 

“Hey…” she finally forced out of herself. Yasha’s head tilted slightly but didn’t fully turn to look at Beau. “You uh...there’s plenty room if you wanted to get cleaned up too…”

“Oh. No, it’s okay” Yasha shook her head. “You definitely need it more” 

“Yeah. Yeah okay” she released a breath and focused on unfastening her bracers. Beau paused for a moment and turned back to Yasha once more. “Hey uh…” she let out a shaky breath, “My hands are fucking freezing, and you made pretty quick work of my jacket so…” she trailed off nervously. 

“Right, yeah, of course” Yasha stood hurriedly and joined Beau beside the bathtub. She took a step closer and Beau offered her arm with a small smile, watching as the Aasimar began unfastening the bracers, and then carefully removed the wraps she wore beneath. 

“It’s so easy to forget that these are your weapons…” she whispered as she let the last of the wrappings fall to the ground, carefully holding Beau’s hands in her larger ones. “I don’t know how you’re always so ready for a fight” she continued, thumbs gently brushing over Beau’s bruised knuckles. 

“Well I don’t have to lift a sword bigger than my whole body so…” Beau shrugged in response. 

“No. But hitting someone with a sword doesn’t hurt me, hitting someone with already bruised knuckles probably does…”

“Heh” Beau chuckled softly, looking down at how small her hands seemed in Yasha’s. “The pain turns me on, remember” 

Yasha rolled her eyes at that and squeezed Beau’s hands a little. 

“Hey, you think that you could see if I’ve got some clean clothes in my pack whilst I get cleaned up?” she asked as she leant against the tub. 

“Yes, of course” 

“Thanks Yash…” the monk offered a small smile and reached down into the warm water to splash her face and begin cleaning the blood from her hands and arms. 

“I can go outside for a bit if you want some privacy to take a bath…”

Beau frowned and glanced over her shoulder at the other woman. “What? No, no it’s fine” she insisted. “I promise I don’t have a problem taking a bath with you around” she winked at Yasha, allowing a small smirk to tug at the corner of her lips. “Just figured that cleaning up a little and then spending some time in front of that fireplace would be a better use of my time” she explained. 

“Okay…” Yasha nodded, but still sounded a little uncertain. 

“I uh, I meant with you…” Beau hastily added. “I wanna spend time with you…”

Yasha’s smile was wider now and it made Beau’s heart flutter to know she had caused that. 

“Yeah, that sounds good” she agreed with a nod before going back to rummaging through Beauregard’s pack, looking for clean clothes. 

The monk smiled and carefully began cleaning the cuts that covered her face. 

Once Yasha located the fresh clothes she neatly placed them on the small table beside the bathtub before retreating to the couch once more. And five minutes later a freshly clothed, less bloody, Beauregard joined her. 

“The fire feels amazing” she commented as she let herself relax into the softness of the couch. “I was so fucking cold yesterday, thought I’d never feel warmth again” she admitted, thinking about how it had felt to practically be frozen to the side of the dragon, and then so many hours trekking through the snow in the middle of the night. 

“I thought I was going to lose you yesterday…” Yasha whispered so softly that Beau could easily have missed it over the crackle of the fire. But she heard it, and she bit her lip before turning her head and looking up at Yasha. 

Usually she would deflect, she’d make a joke, but last night - last night had been pretty rough, she still wasn’t sure how they’d all made it out alive. 

“Yeah it was...it was pretty touch and go, huh?”

Yasha nodded, and shifted slightly to make room for Beau beside her should the monk want it. There was little to no hesitation from the smaller woman as she moved closer, letting herself lean into the Aasimar’s embrace. 

“You know when we agreed to come here with Vess…” Beau sighed. “I dunno, I just figured it would be a simple job, you know? Maybe get some intel on the Assembly for Caleb, a week at most before we’d be back in Zadash or on the beach in Nicodranas”

Yasha nodded, “Do you regret coming here?”

“Kinda” Beau shrugged and stared into the fire. “But at the same time I know that if we weren’t here then the Tombtakers would definitely get away with bringing back the city”

Yasha let out a shaky breath. “I know we’ve done a lot of great things together, but I can’t help but feel underqualified for this”

“Yeah” Beau laughed humorlessly, “Yeah I feel that” she sighed and turned her head so that it was resting against the warmth of Yasha’s shoulder. “Thought I had more time” she muttered after a moment. “Figured we’d be here a week or two at most. That it’d give me time to sort my shit out, and then we’d go back to Nicodranas and maybe I’d find the courage to ask you on a date, maybe go hang out on the beach one night, just the two of us…”

She felt Yasha’s arm wrap carefully around her shoulders, pulling her into her embrace. 

“That sounds perfect” 

“Yeah” 

“But this is perfect too, you know…”

“This?” Beau lifted her eyes to meet Yasha’s.

The Aasimar nodded. “Being here with you right now feels just as good as being on the beach in Nicodranas” she explained. Beau studied her carefully, brow furrowed somewhat in confusion. “This is enough, Beau. You’re _enough_ ” she tried to insist. 

“I just wanted it to be perfect,” the monk whispered. 

“I just want you” Yasha shot back without pause. 

Beau couldn’t help but squeeze her eyes shut at that, begging the tears to stay away. Yasha’s words were so simple, and perhaps that was why they affected her so much. No one had ever wanted just _her_. Her Father had wanted a son, the Cobalt Soul wanted her mind, others wanted her fists. Beau had never just been enough. Not until the Nein, and certainly not in a romantic sense to anyone. 

And Yasha - Yasha was so much more than Beau could ever imagine deserving. She was kind and gentle, but brave and loyal. She was beautiful and deadly, and she was made of more than Beau. Beau was human, and yeah she could do cool monk shit that most humans couldn’t but Yasha was practically an angel. 

“What are you thinking?” Yasha’s words interrupted her thoughts, fingers gently brushing a loose strand of hair from Beau’s face. 

“Nothing. Just wondering” Beau shrugged, eyes opening to search Yasha’s face once more. 

“Wondering what?”

“What it feels like to fall in love” she whispered nervously, but brutally honestly.

She watched Yasha’s features as she took in and digested those words, and for a moment she was worried she had said too much. But then the barbarian smiled and the fire inside Beau’s heart reignited. 

“It feels like this” Yasha responded simply, fingers gently tracing the sharp line of Beau’s jaw.

“Yeah?”

Yasha nodded. 

“It’s - I know that in books it...it’s always big and loud and grand” she explained. “But it’s not - it doesn’t have to be that. It can be...it’s the tiny things, things that you don’t really even notice” she continued. 

“A smile” Yasha shrugged, “Or someone taking notice of you when you think you don’t fit in. Or a hand in yours during one of the hardest moments of your life...”

Beau listened carefully, trying to control the pounding of her heart but to no avail. 

“A flirty comment in the middle of a battle” she added, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her lips which Beau couldn’t help but return to. “Love is...It’s someone who makes you feel safe”

“I really don’t feel like I’m good enough fo -”

Yasha shook her head, stopped Beau quickly. “Beau, you’re really smart, but sometimes you just get it completely wrong” she explained simply. “I promise you’re enough, you always have been” 

Beau let out a shaky sigh. She didn’t know what to say, for once she was lost for words and so she nodded against Yasha’s shoulder. 

“We should get some rest, I imagine dinner will be eventful. There’s a lot to discuss with Essek” Yasha insisted. 

Beau wanted to agree with her, but she wasn’t sure if rest was what she wanted to do. “Yasha, I feel like we’ve already wasted so much time together…”

“We’re not wasting time” Beau’s brow knitted together, eyes searching Yasha’s as the Aasimar elaborated. “We’re together, aren’t we?”

When the monk didn’t find reason to argue Yasha leant closer and pressed the softest of kisses to her lips. 

It wasn’t the passion-fuelled or romantic event that Beauregard had let herself imagine a first kiss with Yasha might be, but somehow it was even more perfect. 

Because Yasha was right, real love didn’t need to be a grand gesture, there didn’t need to be fireworks, because it wasn’t a sudden realisation, it wasn’t life-changing. Because this had been there for so long between them, slowly and carefully growing into something more. It was a path that in a way they had always been meant to walk together, they just had some things to do by themselves on their way. 

Like Yasha had said, it was the small things along the way that had built up gradually and had finally reached its peak. 

When Yasha broke away she was looking down at Beau a little worriedly, and the monk couldn’t help but stare up at her a little surprised. The barbarian licked her bottom lip nervously, about to say something when Beau smiled and leant up to press their lips back together in an effortless kiss. 

Effortless, that’s what falling in love felt like. 

“Okay, let’s rest” she agreed with a happy smile as she broke away and Yasha nodded, arm tightening around the smaller frame and pulling Beau close. 

And as the monk let her eyes drift closed, let her body relax into the safety of Yasha, she let herself wonder why she had spent so long being scared of falling in love when really it had already happened somewhere along the way.


End file.
